My Goal Was Not To Shat My Pants This Morning

So, I really didn't mess myself, but I was close. Two words that describe the last 3 minutes of my bus ride this morning, near death - well not really.

I ride the 121/122 in to Seattle which is a commuter bus. For the most part, there are no issues like you would find if you were to say ride the 120 (lord knows I've had some fine times on the 120 though).

This morning was just like any other morning. Except for the fact that at the Pike Street stop, a man whom had apparently lost ALL of his marbles and the skill to speak human, got on and sat directly across from me. He immediately started making crazy growling and grunting noises - and he wasn't using inside noise per say. His growling and grunting was extremely loud. The second he sat down, he started pulling the stop line over and over and over and over and over all the while making his gorilla noises. I guess he only wanted to ride the bus for a half of a block.

Them problem is, after the Pike Street stop, the next stop is between Seneca and Spring (about three or four blocks). When the bus driver (bless his heart) didn't stop a half a block after Pike, crazy man lost it. He started throwing a foot tantrum and grunting/growling in a very high pitched manner. At this point, I was a little nervous but thought dude would calm down and attempt to speak English for a tid. Not so much. Once he realized that the bus driver was not stopping after a full block, but rather was continuing on the normal route, he started pulling the stop line like it was going out of style while stomping his feet in a girly tantrum like manner and continued to make his weird noises.

He finally got fed up with pulling the stop line and not actually having the bus stop. So he then stands up and is looking straight at me. This is where I about shat myself. Because he's looking at me and continuing to throw his tantrum. So I look everywhere but at the man because I'm afraid that making eye contact is going to trigger nasty childhood memories or some shit like that and then he'll lunge at me and then I'm screwed. Mind you, everyone else who sat in the front has already gotten off at previous stops so I'm sitting all by my lonesome.

He eventually stops looking at me and then approaches the driver and starts stomping his feet like crazy and sounds like an animal that's dying. I can tell the bus driver's a little rattled at this point too but he sticks to his guns and doesn't make any additional stops prior to Seneca/Spring. We hit Seneca and Spring and nut case man gets off and then sits at the bench waiting for another bus. I say thank you to the driver but he doesn't respond with a "you're welcome" like he normally does. Poor guy. He was so rattled by the past three minutes like I was that he apparently forgot how to talk.

Anyway, you will all be happy to know that I survived that near death experience and still have clean undies ta boot! YEAH ME!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!